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Mar. 17th, 2007 @ 11:15 pm well i am a sagitarrian after all
You Are a Centaur

In general, you are a very cautious and reserved person.
However, you are also warm hearted, and you enjoy helping others in practical ways.
You are a great teacher, and you are really good at helping people get their lives in order.
You are very intuitive, and you go with your gut. You make good decisions easily.
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Mar. 6th, 2007 @ 08:06 pm just because
Perceiving.</font></td></tr></table>
How Rare Is Your Personality?<tr><td bgcolor="#DDDDDD" align="center">Your Personality is Very Rare (INTP)</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#EEEEEE">

Your personality type is goofy, imaginative, relaxed, and brilliant.

Only about 4% of all people have your personality, including 2% of all women and 6% of all men
You are Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and v>
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Jan. 16th, 2007 @ 09:30 pm it figures.....


You are The Devil


Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession


The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.


Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.


What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

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Nov. 19th, 2006 @ 12:01 am In memory
Today Socrates died in my arms....Not sure why but it was scary quick. i just found her lying down panting on some laundry and then she got up walked a few steps and laydown had some sort of sesure and went limp. she died on route to the vet.
she was the first pet i got after leaving my parents home.
she was 12 years old
for the last year she had been kind of depressed
but
she had the silkiest fur
she purred like a motorbike
she drooled when you pet her just right.
she had 1 small orange tabby marking on her head- i thought it was adorable.
she is the pet my son grew up with
she was my little lynx.
I am sorry i could not help her.
that is all
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Apr. 1st, 2006 @ 12:58 am (no subject)
so much to say and yet i cannot find the words. My beautiful baby is 1 week old today. I dont think can be any happier right now. i am such a sap sometimes...........
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Nov. 10th, 2005 @ 01:38 pm (no subject)
happy b-day robin,

ya i know a day late but happy birthday none the less.
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Aug. 15th, 2005 @ 02:05 am that is funny- me understanding people ha!
More Emotional



You have:
70% SCIENTIFIC INTUITION and
77% EMOTIONAL INTUITION</b>

The graph on the right represents your place in Intuition 2-Space. As you can see, you scored well above average on emotional intuition and above average on scientific intuition.Your emotional intuition is stronger than your scientific intuition.

Your Emotional Intuition score is a measure of how well you understand people, especially their unspoken needs and sympathies. A high score score usually indicates social grace and persuasiveness. A low score usually means you're good at Quake.

Your Scientific Intuition score tells you how in tune you are with the world around you; how well you understand your physical and intellectual environment. People with high scores here are apt to succeed in business and, of course, the sciences.




My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:


free online dating free online dating
 You scored higher than 99% on Scientific

free online dating free online dating
 You scored higher than 99% on Interpersonal
Link: The 2-Variable Intuition Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating
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Aug. 7th, 2005 @ 09:49 am (no subject)
You scored as Hedonism. Your life is guided by the principles of Hedonism: You believe that pleasure is a great, or the greatest, good; and you try to enjoy life?s pleasures as much as you can.



?Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die!?



More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page...

</td>

Hedonism

80%

Existentialism

65%

Utilitarianism

60%

Strong Egoism

55%

Justice (Fairness)

50%

Kantianism

50%

Apathy

15%

Nihilism

15%

Divine Command

5%

What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
created with QuizFarm.com
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May. 17th, 2005 @ 08:49 pm (no subject)
You scored as Chewbacca.

</td>

Chewbacca

72%

Obi Wan Kenobi

67%

Darth Vader

64%

Yoda

61%

Clone Trooper

50%

General Grievous

50%

Mace Windu

50%

Anakin Skywalker

44%

R2-D2

39%

Emperor Palpatine

36%

Padme Amidala

33%

C-3PO

33%

Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com
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Feb. 23rd, 2005 @ 08:04 am (no subject)
You scored as Rupert Giles. You're very wise. Though you've only recently begun thinking about yourself, you're always there to help. Everyone around you holds you in high regard. You've always pulled through.

</td>

Rupert Giles

63%

Buffy Summers

63%

Tara Maclay

63%

Dawn Summers

63%

Willow Rosenberg

46%

Spike

46%

Anya

42%

Xander Harris

42%

Which Buffy The Vampire Slayer Character Are You Most Like!?
created with QuizFarm.com
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Feb. 16th, 2005 @ 11:00 pm (no subject)
form action="http://chaz.bdmonkeys.net/battle.php" method="get">

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Zang! Who is that, sprinting out of the terrain! It is Saevordsyns, hands clutching an oversized scalpel! And with a booming roar, his voice cometh:

"By Odin's mighty spear, I tear into the enemy until everything has croaked!!!"

Find out!
Enter username: <input ... >
Are you <input ... >a girl, or <input ... >a guy ?
<input ... >

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

</form>
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Nov. 10th, 2004 @ 12:52 pm yes i am and always have been a geek!
Your
Ultimate Roleplaying Purity Score
CategoryYour ScoreAverage
Hacklust53.77%
Will kill for XP		53.5%
Sensitive Roleplaying50.63%
"But what's my motivation for this scene?"		 54.4%
GM Experience56.52%
Puts the players through the wringer		 69.4%
Systems Knowledge80.23%
Played in a couple of campaigns		 90.3%
Livin' La Vida Dorka57.47%
Has interesting conversations in public		63%
You are 61.39% pure
Average Score: 68.7%
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Oct. 20th, 2004 @ 06:31 pm who would have thunk it??
DEMON
You are a demon, a dark being without a soul.
Though you have power, you misuse it,
preferring to bow than to balance.


What level of divine power do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Jul. 22nd, 2004 @ 12:37 pm still undefeated


</tr>
Saevordsyns's
Battle Imp
is
Who's your battle imp?
Ouurd

Backstabbing: 10

Dodgin': 4

Guts: 2

Magic Mojo: 9

Smackdown: 4

</td>






Will your battle imp beat Saevordsyns's?
Enter your name and fight.


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Jul. 14th, 2004 @ 09:18 am ok say it with me now- I am an Arrogant Condocending Prick
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: supertramp- logical song
What a week it has been. Saturday the 3rd saw me saying good bye to A for a month, she is off to NZ. Monday my "beloved sister"- And i mean that in the most acrid bitter and sarcastic way-left for vancouver. The Roommate is outta here at last and i have had the house to MYSELF, no annoying neighbors dropping by, no needy "friends" etc- i told them that for the rest of the month my house was clothing optional, i think it offended their poor prudish sensibilities lol. I have even been out at to the clubs dancing up a storm- how i missed the velvet underground on thursdays and sundays, funhaus too.
those are however topics for another entry. I also spent the last weekend at my uncles cottage near haliburton. Did i say cottage- more like summer home it has has 4 bedrooms,more amenities than my house, a seadoo, satellite tv whirlpool tub etc. As you can see he likes to rough it. It was a glorious weekend though, i woke every morning to the sound of loons calling through the morning mist, saw deer prance along the shore of his lake ( i eschewed the seadoo for his canoe- much better in my opinion) and at night gazed up at a sky illuminated with countless stars i have not seen since my childhood, it was a beautiful and refreshing utopia.
My cousin was there as well. He spent most of the weekend on the aforementioned seadoo and it is through him i have realized just how blatantly hurtful i can be. He is 21 years old but stopped developing mentally around 13. He comes from an extremely educated and literate family. It is probably this that makes his developmental difficulties so obvious. He tries to speak like us, uses words he barely understands and often sounds as if he is flubbing the lines of a half remembered play. It is almost painful to hear and it is made all the more so because every time he makes some statement, half reasoned and poorly worded i jump on it. My family did this to me and i did this automatically to him all weekend. It only took a simple question or jest and he would be flummoxed. Worse yet i did it in the same condescending tone i would use to rib any debating opponent who had just proved my point. It was a smug and superior tone that left me feeling cheapened even as i did it again and again.
I don't think he ever caught on to it. If he did, he had at least the good grace to overlook it and not take it to heart.
Strange isn't it, to be taught lessons in grace by one so much younger and apparently less capable than your self?
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Jun. 25th, 2004 @ 05:21 am (no subject)
Why am i up at 500 am on a day i have to unload a truck full of merchandise? because my house was broken into while i slept peacefully, that's why.
The ever so kind men - there were 2 of them, only had enough of my unwitting hospitality when my housemate came home from work at 430. Cabbagetown sucks!
Being the brain surgeons they no doubt were they made off with A's purse, an antique camera and My sons school bag! all and all worth about 200$- most of that being the camera. The big problem here though is with in A's purse was all the I.D. she needs to take her trip to N.Z. next week. Oh and i lost with my sons bag many of his school photos and much of his art :-(. This is the second time in 3 years this has happened. It is time i think to get a dog. the last time they took off with a $1000 digital camera. ARRRRGH@#$%$@$%!
I was going to go out tonight and dance up a storm at funhaus but now i am not so sure. Fuck i sometimes hate people!
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Jun. 24th, 2004 @ 10:48 am My co-workers would be rolling in the aisles
The Count
The Count's Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder


It started with a simple affection for counting and
the terror it induced in others, didn't it?
But now it's turned into a full-blown
life-consuming chaotic nightmare of order,
repetition, zealousness, and perfectionism.
You used to be so grand, but now you find
yourself obsessively worrying over the littlest
things--like, maybe if you don't check the
light switch at least once every two minutes,
the electricity will go out (and damnit, you're
a vampire--that shouldn't be a problem!), or
maybe if you don't wash your hands until your
seams are coming out, you'll get some fatal
disease. Get yourself some treatment.


Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Jun. 16th, 2004 @ 09:49 pm my japanese name?

My japanese name is 猿渡 Saruwatari (monkey on a crossing bridge) 大輝 Taiki (large radiance).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

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Jun. 9th, 2004 @ 09:42 am (no subject)
well every now and then the past, as i am sure it does with all of us, re emerges and troubles us with its half forgotten shadows. there was once a time when i had hoped to be a man of letters, a commentator of the world at large and i even allowed my self, in my arrogance, to pretend to be an artist and poet. The truth is i have never really had the creative spark to be anything more than a tradesman. i can visualize thing well- and in that my imagination is quite good but new ideas, new vision are lost to me. at best i can realign old ideas in novel ways- extrapolate on concepts already imagined by others- in short i do not, as an artist would, create. Instead i, like a craftsman, work existing ideas into shapes pleasing to my eye.

My poetry even reflected this. meter and rhyme were necessary for me, free verse an impossible fracturing of the elements that allowed me my "talent". even when i attempted free verse meter and rhyme found their way somehow with in it. I wonder if it is because unlike so many of my peers i was somehow not depressed. My few poetry writing friends where often pouring teenaged angst and pain onto the page in a desperate effort to validate and communicate thier belief in their own unique misery.
my peorty was often whimsical, contemplative or impassioned.
so while here - and because, as i said im my very first posting this IS purely self indulgent web space, i am going to leave the few poems i remember.- three of them really, one whimsical, one contemplative and one visceral.

rubber ball,


an ityy bitty
rubber ball
bounced towards a giant
six feet tall
it struck him firmly
in the head
and he fell down-
i feared him dead.
when he stood back up
i saw his face,
that rubber ball
was stuck in place
that i laughed so hard
now surely shows
why clowns will wear
a rubber nose.

i can no relate to the person i was when i wrote that- as i have aged whimsy has become lost. the person i was when i wrote the next poem i do remember- for he is still with me. it was written in an oac physics class some 15 year ago- omg am i that old!!!!and was, when i started it an attempt at free verse- which may explain is lack of consistent meter which in the end i kinda liked.
poetry from a confused mind.

do i exist?
i perceive,
i resist,
but do i live?
i know i dream,
but am i one?
someone else's ?
or my own?
will i know?
I think therefore i am
but are my thoughts my own?
am i only in someones head?
thinking thoughts of theirs instead?
stop now
please!
before i lose it,
lose what?
do i exist?

and the last poem i will write was never finished, i had intended to write stanzas in dedication to some mysterious girls beauty whom i once saw. the poem however was turning more and more lustful and less and less the pure ode i had intended it to be. it also has the distinction of being the very last poem i ever wrote.about 6 years ago.

azure eyes, jewelled reflections
of hope and dreams, hearts confessions,
of love and lust and secret longing,
togetherness and true belonging

velvet petals, wine stained lips,
damp with nectar drank in sips,
promise pleasures, tastes divine
and smiling laughter, yours and mine

scented skin whose sweet bouquet
calls to me, demands me stay
with in your reach, with in your grasp
obeying every sigh and gasp.

the last to stanzas were going to be on her silken hair and haunting voice but i never wrote them. as i said the poem was meant to be at first a chaste ode to her - i never did learn her name- beauty but i was upon reading it again unhappy with the growing sexual nature of it. anyway that end my poetry moment now back to the regularly scheduled programing
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Jun. 5th, 2004 @ 04:33 pm (no subject)
what a night.
I went out to funhaus last night- not a club i regularly frequent- unless someone drags me there - or i am going out with friends who are " not ready for the whole goth thing" not ready? i ask just what do they think goes on at these clubs? as far as i know we haven't sacrificed anyone since sanc closed -sniff:(. which brings me back around to my staring thought. it was almost like being back at sanc. with only a few notable exceptions (like crispin, sid, angel and mike) every one else just sort of happened to be there. i saw people i have not run into in years. it was great, i crawled home around 4 am after doing the food thing at sneaky dees- why do we let ourselves forget the small and simple things that can complete a night? i really need to learn to keep in touch with people.

I also stumbled upon a little human interaction tidbit i did not know- you will pardon my naivety please. It would appear that at a club men only compliment women whose pants they are trying to get into.-- Yes to you this may not seem as such a revelation- but i compliment women all the time whom i have no intention of picking up.
If i like the way she dances i will often say so- if i like her clothes i will mention it. i do this not to bed them but to encourage them- positive reinforcement to encourage the habit- if you will.
i had always thought they would just take the compliment as it was intended. Apparently not-pity.
i met M. at the bar last night, and although i had not seen her dancing there i have many times in the past been mesmerized by her motions. she dances with her whole body, it moves in a fluid and beautiful circular symmetry the likes of which i have never seen elsewhere. As i stood next to her to order myself a drink i thought to compliment her on it. the interaction went as follows-
me - you dance really well.
her- oh do i what do you like about it?
- it is very fliud
- oh fliud.....you are suspect
- i only intend to compliment i love watching you dance...i saw you last week at velvet and it was beautifully circular.... wonderfully dramatic
-circular- no one has ever mentioned that before.. they just all think i want to fuck

at which point she sniffed my shirt- trying to gage my scent?? which i was somehow lacking- god only knows how i was wearing cologne and had sweat up a storm dancing. i got my drink and took my leave - much to the gentleman beside hers relief.
so i went back to my table and posted the question to the ladies there and they all agreed- compliments= i want to fuck you?? my god it is no wonder i have never noticed people flirting with me- i always took their compliments in the same light i gave them- an honest appreciation for something about them.

now i will piont out that M. was both attractive and i have found her open and somewhat confrontational manner intriguing - but that was not why i had complimented her.

That said i have no intention of changing my ways. i will still compliment people i feel the need to.
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